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雅思作文7分并非遥不可及

2015-11-12 11:08

来源:新东方网整理

作者:

  现在的年轻人总是会发出“理想很丰满,现实很骨感”这样的感叹,来表达对现实生活的无奈。而在雅思写作考试中,考生们又何尝不会经历这种无奈呢?写作7分是许多考生梦寐以求的分数,但即使是一些外籍教师所撰写的范文,在考官笔下也不过是7-8分!对于国内大多数雅思考生而言,7分似乎是可望而不可及的。那么,究竟怎样的文章,才能得到考官的青睐,最终幸运的得到7分的分数呢?

  一.Task response

  1. 具体要求

  Task response表示任务的完成。在官方给出的评分标准中,7分有这样的要求:

  1. Address all parts of the task,

  2. Present a clear position throughout the response,

  3. Present, extend and support main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus。

  ① 回答了题目要求的所有问题。②整篇文章观点鲜明。③详细的解释和论证了观点。

  2. 范例评析

  ▲ 剑桥雅思全真试题7 Test2 Task2

  Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。

  Discuss both views and give your own opinion。

  1. 考生需要对题目中的两个相反的观点进行分析,不能只分析自己倾向的观点。即:固定不变的定罪制度有何作用;依据犯罪动机和环境灵活的定罪制度有何作用。

  2. 考生需要非常清楚的表明自己的观点,即回答应当如何对罪犯的犯罪行为定罪。

  3. 考生对于题目中两个相反观点的分析需要摆出充足的论据,提出自己的理由并通过例子来证明。

  7.5分考生范文选段:对固定不变的定罪制度的分析

  On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. ‖Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. ‖This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. ‖If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts。

  1. 观点:固定的惩罚制度对社会有威慑力。(fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society。)

  2. 理由:考虑犯罪成本(reconsider committing crimes in the first place)

  3. 扩展结果:有利于社会稳定(lead to social stability and security through minimizing the number of crimes committed。)

  4. 理由:如果没有固定的定罪制度,会使犯罪分子更猖狂。(If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of , penal decisions would be largely arbitrary。)

  5. 扩展结果:犯罪分子逍遥法外,不利于司法公正。(criminals getting away with their crimes and a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts。)

  3. 对策

  ① 复习真题,找生词

  在考题中,经常出现核心词汇的重复,比如:distance learning, criminal等。建议考生们可以在复习写作时,先把近两年的写作题目过一遍,查查生词。这样做可以大大降低考生在作文题中遭遇生词的尴尬,提高审题的准确性。

  ②掌握不同题型大作文的写作重点

  观点类:可以支持、反对、中立,一定要表达自己的观点。论据要充分,举例不可或缺。

  分析解决类:所问即所答,重点分析原因,解决方法多角度。

  ③八大话题,重点突破

  在考题中,“教育,科技,环保,全球化,政府,媒体,工作,社会生活”为常考的八大话题。复习重点有以下几方面:1. 每个话题的核心词汇要烂熟于心。2. 每个话题要积累至少两个可以作举例论证的实例。3. 每个话题至少选择两道题目做brainstorming思路拓展练习。4. 每个话题要至少积累两篇范文。5. 每个考生对自己不熟悉的话题,要加强以上练习。

  二. Coherence and cohesion

  1. 具体要求

  Coherence and cohesion表示连贯统一。在官方给出的评分标准中,7分有这样的要求:

  1. Logically organizes information and ideas; there is a clear progression throughout

  2. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under/over-use

  3. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

  ①文章结构富有逻辑性。②正确使用多种衔接方法。③每段话的中心思想明确。

  2. 范例评析

  ▲ 剑桥雅思全真试题7 Test2 Task2

  Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment。

  Discuss both views and give your own opinion。

  7.5分考生范文选段:考生回答应当如何对罪犯的犯罪行为定罪。

  In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thieves stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment。

  1. 中心思想:对于犯罪分子的定罪应该有折中的方法,这才是保证公平公正的方法。(an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity。)

  2. 段落结构一分为二:

  ①固定下来定罪的底线和上线,举例“竞争法”。

  ②定罪要有免罪的特殊处理。举例“饥荒时偷食物的行为”和“正当防卫”。

  3. 衔接的处理:文中加粗的部分(包含连接词,代词等)。

  3. 对策

  ①代词

  代词包括人称代词,物主代词和一些特定的词语。代词的使用能够提高表达的统一性。

  ②同义词,反义词等意义相互关联的词

  恰当使用一些相关或相同概念的词,能够达到整篇文章自然扩展的效果。

  ③连接词

  连接词是实现段落内部表达连贯的最主要的手段。它能够增进句与句,或者段与段之间的逻辑关系。

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